IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write a paragraph about the benefits of a personal device that is necessary for students’ study (120-150 words).

Thanks to advanced technology, smartphones are getting smaller, faster and stronger.
And with
Correct word choice
With
show examples
 superior functions, nowadays it has become one of the indispensable personal devices in students’ study.
In particular
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, teenagers can benefit from
this
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 useful tool a lot.
Firstly
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, it is portable, so they can take it with them.
Secondly
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, it is very versatile, as it can be used for many educational purposes.
For instance
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, students can take an online course and interact directly with their teacher. They can
also
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 research topics on the Web. There are tons of online resources in all fields, which help learners widen their knowledge.
As a result
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, school students are likely to study far more independently and productively. In conclusion, it is a wise choice for each student to own a smartphone because it is an essential tool which brings a lot of benefits to their education.

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph addresses the main topic directly and avoids any irrelevant information or elaboration that does not contribute to the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more attention-grabbing and conclusive respectively. Ensure a stronger link between them and the main points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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