ii. #Health - "Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (IELTS 2, AC)

Nowadays, progress in medicine has revolutionized our lives and has made them more convenient in comparison with ancient times. An abundant portion of the nation's medical budget should be allocated to learning about health issues and taking protective actions against illnesses. I partly agree with
this
statement, and I believe that investing in the infrastructure of
healthcare
systems is a significant matter
as well as
training in preventive diseases. On the one hand, abundant Health education budgets have a positive impact on society, raise awareness of the community, and lead to better lifestyles.
In other words
, citizens who are aware of the consequences of their harmful activities must eliminate them from their lives and modify detrimental habits.
For instance
,
According to
an article which was released by Cambridge University individuals who were addicted to alcohol found that their heart problems were directly associated with their excessive drinking.
Therefore
, if physicians produce educational content to promote healthy lifestyles, they will assist citizens to prevent illness and increase life expectancy.
On the other hand
,
In addition
to allocating an adequate budget for
healthcare
training, improving the infrastructure of
healthcare
may
also
be required. To put it another way, investing in novel hospitals or purchasing state-of-the-art equipment could increase the quality of medical care.
For example
, when the unpredictable disease covid 19 was widespread around the world, developed countries with sufficient equipment displayed the lowest
dead
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
number,
while
developing nations had numerous deaths because of a lack of modern facilities.
Thus
, another priority of the nation's medical budget could be to build modern hospitals and purchase important tools.
To sum up
, despite medical advances, I disagree with spending a large proportion of medical budgets on health education or prevention. In my view, it is significant to modernize the infrastructure of
healthcare
should be considered too.
Submitted by shahimari73 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task Response: The essay provides a balanced viewpoint but could benefit from a clearer stance on the issue. Ensure that the opinion is well-defined and consistently supported throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is mostly clear, but there are some instances of abrupt transitions between points. Work on creating smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs to enhance overall coherence.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: