IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many psychologists believe that social media is the main reason for stress of people in the modern life. Do you agree?

#psychologists #media #reason #stress #people #life
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Recently, the social network caused
the
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apply
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pressure
of
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on
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 individuals in modern society
that
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which
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 has become a heated controversy. It is
not
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the not
a not
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uncommon
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an uncommon
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 fact that an increasing number of psychologists provided powerful evidence to support the hypothesis. In my opinion, I partly
agree
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onagree
toagree
withagree
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 it, because
evey
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every
coins
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coin
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 has two sides.
First
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 of all, it is no doubt that social
media
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 brought
some
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a
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 negative influence on modern society.
First
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, some users are spreading money-worshipping value via using social
media
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.
For example
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, there is a terrible phenomenon that a majority of
youngers
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younger
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 would like to share
luxuries
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luxury
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 photos on social
network
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networks
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;
hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
behavior
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behaviour
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 may produce some potential
stress
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 to some
youngers
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younger
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 who do not have
ability
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the ability
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 to buy luxuries.
In addition
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, a false coverage that exaggerates the ease of challenging tasks may increase the
stress
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 of the young generation, because they have a wrong cognition that success is
a
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an
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 easy thing.
For instance
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, according to
a
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the
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 latest survey from Singapore Social News, approximately 80%
youngers
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of youngers
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 aged 20 to 30 years believe that success is so easy. So, there
are
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is
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 some misleading information from social
media
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 that cause mental
stress
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is a not ignored fact that social
media
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 can help the public release their
stress
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.
This
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 is because that social network is the most fashionable method to entertain;
therefore
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,
the
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apply
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social
media
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 plays a positive role on decreased
stress
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to
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for
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the
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apply
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ordinary people. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the
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apply
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social
media
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 could help citizens to sober
stress
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, it is an obvious fact that it definitely increases
stress
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 to the public, due to the spread of money-worshipping awareness and the existence of false coverage.
Submitted by lyutingting520 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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