In today’s world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, spending
money
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on appearance has increased in order to look younger among adults.
This
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issue comes with some reasons, and I think
this
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affects almost positively.
People
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tend to look younger by
expending
Verb problem
spending
show examples
a great amount of
money
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, because,
firstly
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, beauty is one of the important qualities for individuals, everyone wants to be accepted by others, and
as a result
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, the more a person is beautiful, the more acceptable he is. And when
people
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get old, they lose their signs of youth, so, by buying cosmetics and luxury clothing they cope with it.
Secondly
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, the way someone appears indicates much information about him. A businessman who invested in several projects can not wear sports clothes, he has to suit up and purchase expensive outfits to gain more respect.
This
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trend could improve
people
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's mental health,
although
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, exaggerating in any field impacts negatively.
For example
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, elders who think they do not have any seat in society
due to
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their looks, after having a haircut and wearing a nice dress, can believe they are not too old to hang out with their younger friends.
In addition
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, looking smart is essential in offices, if an employer wear always suit and clean pants with a shaved beard,
according to
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my experience, he is able to get a promotion sooner than others.
However
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, as I mentioned before, if someone does not
has
Change the verb form
have
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enough
money
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it can bring several problems
such
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as bankruptcy and debt.
To sum up
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, spending a great load of
money
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can be beneficial for wealthy elders and bosses or even workers, but I do not recommend it to
people
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who are penniless.
Submitted by amin.ranjbar77 on

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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your stance on the issue and introduces the main points of your essay. Also, restate your opinion in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. Develop a clear and logical structure for the essay, with each paragraph addressing a specific point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural and social pressure
  • Youth and beauty glorification
  • Technological advancements
  • Anti-aging treatments
  • Skincare
  • Cosmetic procedures
  • Self-esteem and confidence
  • Self-improvement
  • Self-care
  • Unrealistic beauty standards
  • Superficiality
  • Financial strain
  • Consumption and dissatisfaction
  • Psychological effects
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Body dysmorphobia
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