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Band 6

Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #show #crime #rates #degrees #rate #criminals #prison
According to recent studies, the tendency to commit criminal activities is less common among
people
 who have tertiary educational qualifications.
Thus
, many
people
 believe that educating
criminals
 during their imprisonment is an effective way to bring down
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime rates. I completely agree with
this
 statement as I understand that
education
 can make a positive change in a person’s behaviour and actions.
To begin
 with, it is true that
people
 engage in
crimes
 due to a variety of reasons like lack of
education
, unemployment, and financial crisis. To be precise,
education
 is the basis to achieve a better living standard with A good job and financial stability. If
people
 are not educated,
people
 will be unable to find employment,
consequently
,
people
 end up
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
attempting
crimes
 like theft and murder to get money.
Therefore
,
education
 is more than important to form socially responsible citizens and to reduce unemployment,
financial
Correct word choice
and financial
show examples
 crisis, thereby
crimes
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. Another point to consider is that there are a lot of prisons around the world teaching educational lessons to
criminals
.
Although
 making changes in a person’s criminal behaviour is a complex and time-consuming process,
education
 can teach new skills and knowledge and bring motivation and confidence among
criminals
 to live
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better life in
society
.
In addition
, if
criminals
 could pursue some qualifications while they are in prison, it will be beneficial for them to achieve employment after their imprisonment.
As a result
, crime rates can be reduced in the long term, with additional merits to
society
 like growth in
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
, employment and living standard percentages. To conclude, I would restate my agreement towards the notion because, undoubtedly,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
provision of
education
 in prisons is certainly promising to reduce
crimes
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 by making a positive change in criminal behaviour.
Submitted by rishanashami on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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