IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that schools should teach students good behavior as well as other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Most people believe that
schools
Use synonyms
 should teach
students
Use synonyms
 a way of behaving
as well as
Linking Words
 other subjects. Though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 others believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should learn it from their folks. I agree with the statement that
schools
Use synonyms
 should teach
students
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 how to behave themselves
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
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,
this
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 is mostly the responsibility of parents
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 should teach their
children
Use synonyms
 how to communicate in our society. There are several reasons why
schools
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 should teach
students
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 good
behaviour
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. The main reason is that in most ordinary
families
Punctuation problem
families,
show examples
children
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 don't know how to behave
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in different events.
For example
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, in formal
,
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apply
show examples
meetings
Use synonyms
students
Punctuation problem
, students
show examples
 can't act like they are at a Christmas party. Another key benefit of good
behaviour
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 is listening to someone without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bothering.
For example
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, in formal meetings , in elections or when teachers try to explain something new. A final point is that
schools
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 can teach
students
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 in
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 areas of behaving appropriately.
On the other hand
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,
schools
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 can not be enough for
students
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 in the matter of behaving in the community, because parents should take that responsibility first. The aim of
this
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 activity is to show
children
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 how to speak with others politely and show respect to older people.
As a result
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, if
children
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 feel disrespected by their community,
now they will
Correct word order
they will now
show examples
 know how to change that opinion in a proper way. In conclusion, I agree with the statement that
schools
Use synonyms
 should teach
students
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 good
behaviour
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 in order to they can not disturb other people in vital meetings.
Therefore
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,
behaviour
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 is in the first place
if
Punctuation problem
, if
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 will be able to work in companies.

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planning
Plan your writing. Make a plan that states your view in one line and lists three ideas to support it.
cohesion
Use small links. Words like 'and', 'but', 'so', 'also' help the idea move from one sentence to the next.
grammar
Watch your grammar. Check for subject and verb, use 'is' with he/she/it, and use proper punctuation.
examples
Give clear and small examples you know. This helps the reader see why your point is true.
content
The view is clear in your opening part.
cohesion
You use some linking words to join ideas.
structure
There is a clear start, body and end in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • character development
  • social interactions
  • harmony
  • respectful environment
  • bullying
  • inclusivity
  • emotional intelligence
  • interpersonal skills
  • values
  • ethics
  • responsible citizenship
  • curriculum
  • traditional subjects
  • life skills
  • moral education
What to do next:
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