Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

A group of

people

opine that

music

Change the article

apply

show examples

better to meet

people

of diverse society together with

ages

. I completely disagree with

this

proposition and will present relevant points along with precise examples and

bac

Correct your spelling

back

show examples

kup

Correct your spelling

my view.

first

of all,a significant number of

people

in the world do not prefer

music

, so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they do not

any

Add a missing verb

have any

show examples

attraction

Change preposition

show examples

music

as a result

music

cannot them close together.

For example

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Muslim

people

do not like

music

because it is prohibited in their religion.

Secondly

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

listener

Fix the agreement mistake

listeners

show examples

do not

choice

Replace the word

choose

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

music

. It depends according to their

ages

and cultures,

hence

, it is difficult to

bringing

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

together, because, of their discrete choices.

For instance

, Indian

people

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Indian

music

but

Chinese

Correct article usage

the Chinese

show examples

do not

prefer

Correct pronoun usage

itprefer

show examples

, so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Indian

music

never

bringing

Wrong verb form

brings

show examples

together.

on the other hand

, a group of

people

loved to

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

music

and think that

music

can relax

mind

Add an article

the mind

show examples

and reduce discrimination among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human,

event

Correct your spelling

even

show examples

every

ages

Change the noun form

age

show examples

citizen

Add a missing verb

is fund

show examples

fund

Correct your spelling

fond

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

music

and recon that it is a part

Change preposition

show examples

our life.

For instance

, when any musical concert

held

Add a missing verb

is held

show examples

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

go there to enjoy and they do not have any

boundary

Fix the agreement mistake

boundaries

show examples

according to gender,

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

and

cultures

Fix the agreement mistake

culture

show examples

also

. in conclusion, it is obvious that they are many

opinion

Change to a plural noun

opinions

show examples

in the world according to

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

perception

Fix the agreement mistake

perceptions

show examples

however

, it is difficult to

bringing

Change the form of the verb

bring

show examples

together all

people

, some platform which they will like

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that I restate my opinion again and proved

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our life.

Submitted by kazishihab on Wed Dec 28 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
In this contemporary era, everything is growing rapidly, some companies started inventing cars with self-driving abilities, and I widely agree using driverless car definitely can benefit this society and most of the people, saving time while driving on the road has significant improvements for resident and reducing the number of car accidents that happen on the road.
6.5
band
In the opinion of some people, internet has narrowed the gap among people in the world by increasing social interaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this view?
In this modern world, technology is advancing day by day. The Internet is also one such invention of technology which has become the most powerful tool in the world today as it is drawing people closer. With the help of the internet, the way people used to socialise with each other has changed and improved to a much greater extent.
4.5
band
In the present era, children are found to have fewer responsibilities than they used to in the past time. Some people consider it a positive development; however, some other people believe it to be a negative trend. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
children nowadays have much less taskes and responsibility than kids in the past era, people splinted into to groups first group they see that is a positive improved thing, and in the other side they see it in a negative way. This essay will examined both point of view before stating any opinion.
5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development
Statistics showed that the number of population is rapidly increasing with time. In many regions around the globe, people are moving from countryside to cities. Therefore, the population in rural areas is decreasing compared to urban areas which showed a significant increase in population. In my opinion, i think that the advantages of living in a city outweighs the drawback.
7.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people claim that highly skilled workers should work in the nation they completed their education, while others believe that they have to be allowed to work in any parts of the world to their liking. Although it is fair for governments to make professionals work in their countries, I believe that they should be given the right to work elsewhere, because they can improve their standards of life.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

In the opinion of some people, internet has narrowed the gap among people in the world by increasing social interaction. To what extent do you agree/disagree with this view?

In the present era, children are found to have fewer responsibilities than they used to in the past time. Some people consider it a positive development; however, some other people believe it to be a negative trend. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.