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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Each year, the crime rate increase. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity.

#year #crime #rate #rise #activity
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Societies with injustice have a higher percentage of wrongdoings. The number of criminals is on the rise globally.
This
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 essay will discuss the factors that contribute to the escalation of bad members of the community and will give suggestions on how to halt the lawlessness
rate
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. There are many factors that lead to an increase in felonies. To commence with, lack of schooling is the primary element that causes harm to society.
In other words
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, areas with decreased literacy rates have higher evil cases.
For example
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, In developing countries, more
crimes
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 are committed
due to
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 a lack of
education
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.
Furthermore
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, underdevelopment is another factor resulting in additional effects on the crime
rate
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. In India, more robberies and killings are reported
due to
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 a heavy portion of the population living below the poverty line.
Additionally
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, an ineffective justice
system
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 is the
last
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 but not the least contributing factor to the rise of
crimes
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. There are a few solutions that if acted upon can control the rising crime
rate
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.
To begin
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 with, governments need to invest in
education
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 which is the basic right of every human being. Countries with high
education
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 priorities face fewer
crimes
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 than the ones that do not give attention to improving the
education
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 structure.
Moreover
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, unemployment should be decreased to eradicate poverty which will effectively address the crime
rate
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.
For instance
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, Nations with a high employment
rate
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 have less number of
crimes
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due to
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 the control over poverty. One another point is that the judicial
system
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 must have strict penalties for criminals so that no one can think of doing any illegal activities.
To conclude
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,
Although
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, the number of
crimes
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 increases throughout the world
due to
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 flaws in the justice
system
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, lack of
education
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 and underdevelopment.
Nevertheless
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, in my opinion,
this
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 can be overcome by delivering free
education
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, unemployment control and an effective penalising
system
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.
Submitted by drsanaghani on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the main point of the essay and that the conclusion provides a summary of the main arguments. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and support a clear and logical progression of thoughts.
task response
Address the prompt more directly by focusing on how to prevent the rise in criminal activity. Provide specific and detailed examples to support the causes of crime and the suggested preventive measures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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