Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what step can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #step #society #benefit #contribution

Extended

life

periods and enhancement of

health

condition of elderly persons recommend that those individuals over the age of sixty-five can live their

life

completely and actively. There are many benefits society will get from older

people

such

as how to minimize or reduce the risk of their dangerous diseases, spreading awareness among individuals related to enjoying their livelihood and they can be an inspiration for the younger generation. To commence with, older

people

can able to spread awareness among the

people

to maintain their

health

fit for a longer

life

journey because in today's fast pacing era

people

cannot able to take care of their

health

, while most masses do not focus on their routine

that is

why more populations are suffering from hazardous diseases like a cardiovascular, tumour, Alzheimer and juveniles are

also

exposed from

this

types of risky disorders.

Furthermore

, if adults participate in different activities like sports and many other things which make

them

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

happy and have a longer

life

span. That kind of thing a significant for the community in

such

a way,

people

can enjoy their lives and how to make a better

life

in older age.

In addition

, older

people

could make inspiration for the younger individual if teenagers should not take anxiety and depression in any harsh situation because these things reduce their age and they cannot able to participate actively in any activities,

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

this

could be a huge message for juveniles to follow their ancestor's path to spread some colour in

life

to maintain their lifestyle and

health

also

, it may be the key of a beautiful journey of

life

For instance

, a headline from BBC ( British Broadcasting Council ) revealed that in Switzerland, more than 65% of older

people

have maintained their

health

and made a vast motivation for the younger generation. In conclusion,

although

adults could

aware

Add a missing verb

be aware

show examples

people

of a better lifestyle gives them good

health

and enjoy the journey of

life

, inspired teenagers not to panic in any situation and to be active in their missions.

Submitted by anshika.tomar0404 on Wed Dec 28 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what step can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Using computers everyday has more negative effect than positive on children. do you agree or disagree with this notion

Some people believe that **single-sex schools are more beneficial to students because they achieve better academic results.** Others, however, **argue that mixed schools are better since students can develop better social skills**. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a new environment by establishing a minority community. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think is a good idea or a waste of time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant exaxples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people believe that single-sex schools are more beneficial to students because they achieve better academic results. Others, however, argue that mixed schools are better since students can develop better social skills. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.