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Writing Samples
Band 6

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what step can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #step #society #benefit #contribution
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Extended
life
Use synonyms
 periods and enhancement of
health
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 condition of elderly persons recommend that those individuals over the age of sixty-five can live their
life
Use synonyms
 completely and actively. There are many benefits society will get from older
people
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such
Linking Words
 as how to minimize or reduce the risk of their dangerous diseases, spreading awareness among individuals related to enjoying their livelihood and they can be an inspiration for the younger generation. To commence with, older
people
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 can able to spread awareness among the
people
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 to maintain their
health
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 fit for a longer
life
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 journey because in today's fast pacing era
people
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 cannot able to take care of their
health
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, while most masses do not focus on their routine
that is
Linking Words
 why more populations are suffering from hazardous diseases like a cardiovascular, tumour, Alzheimer and juveniles are
also
Linking Words
 exposed from
this
Linking Words
 types of risky disorders.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if adults participate in different activities like sports and many other things which make
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 happy and have a longer
life
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 span. That kind of thing a significant for the community in
such
Linking Words
 a way,
people
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 can enjoy their lives and how to make a better
life
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 in older age.
In addition
Linking Words
, older
people
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 could make inspiration for the younger individual if teenagers should not take anxiety and depression in any harsh situation because these things reduce their age and they cannot able to participate actively in any activities,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
this
Linking Words
 could be a huge message for juveniles to follow their ancestor's path to spread some colour in
life
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 to maintain their lifestyle and
health
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also
Linking Words
 , it may be the key of a beautiful journey of
life
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a headline from BBC ( British Broadcasting Council ) revealed that in Switzerland, more than 65% of older
people
Use synonyms
 have maintained their
health
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 and made a vast motivation for the younger generation. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 adults could
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 of a better lifestyle gives them good
health
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 and enjoy the journey of
life
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, inspired teenagers not to panic in any situation and to be active in their missions.
Submitted by anshika.tomar0404 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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