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Band 2.5

Some people think that students benefit from going to private secondary schools. Others, however, feel that private secondary schools can have a negative effect on society as a whole. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #students #benefit #schools #effect #society
Nowadays, education is the most important issue to
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. Some people think private secondary
school
 will have an effect on society and some people think it will be beneficial to students. There are so many debates
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 issue.
This
 essay will discuss more points of view and the ideas of private secondary schools.
Firstly
, private secondary schools well know that it is a
non government
Add a hyphen
non-government
show examples
school
 which is parents have to pay for the
school
. The
Correct your spelling
fees
arefees
Add a verb
arearefees
werearefees
show examples
also
 quite expensive for
a low-income peoples
Correct the article-noun agreement
low-income peoples
a low-income people
show examples
. Benefits from private
school
 actually is a good investment in your child's future. They usually provide a good learning scheme for their student, the pupils will be guided in more intensive ways to learn and adapt the knowledge compared to government secondary schools.
However
, the government secondary
school
 is a place
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 all parents will afford to send their
children
. They will provide more free fees and parents will not
so
Add a missing verb
be so
show examples
 burden to pay for their
children
's education.
Therefore
,
this
 will affect
children
's focus on learning due to the large of students in a classroom, teachers will not able to control the students all
this
 will affect our
children
. In my conclusion, if we can afford to send our
children
 to private secondary
school
 is
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
 choice.
However
, it all depends on our financial level so will be not burdened
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 our
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 education.
Submitted by yannaunghlaing on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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