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Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of cloth , cars and other items . what are the reasons for this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #brands #cloth #cars #items #development
In
this
 modern world , wearing branded items is becoming more popular
ever
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than before.
However
 , a number of communities like to purchase expensive clothes and cars in order to show their wealth. I strongly believe that
this
 trend has more negative sides as compared to positive ones. On the one hand , the first and perhaps the most important reason why
this
 trend has more negative sides is that people waste a huge amount of money buying popular pieces of stuff.
In addition
 to
this
 , flok spends more cash on buying unnecessary items in order to show off.
For example
 , if one has a car , which is working very well but their friends have a better model
then
 he or she prefers to buy a car like theirs.
As a result
 , the money is wasted because that can be useful for starting a small business or enhancing their hobbies. The second reason appears to be a bad effect on youngsters because of
this
 kind of thing. In detail , youth may have a bad influence, if they see their parents and old ones
while
 spending cash on branded pieces of stuff
then
 those can never learn the importance of money.
On the other hand
 ,
using
Verb problem
wearing
show examples
 good clothes or cars can enhance one's personality because massed always judge a person by
this
 , only a few of them see their character.
Moreover
,
this
 will not make only
flok
Change the capitalization
Flok
show examples
 looks more attractive but
also
 help them
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 a job .
For instance
, if a person wears well-known brands and has good communication skills
then
 he or she will be perfect to become an employer in the future. In conclusion, from the aforementioned points, I indeed think that the trend has less importance because
this
 can affect people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by pyash5245 on

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Task Response
The essay discusses the reasons for the popularity of branded items and evaluates the trend as more negative than positive. However, the focus is more on listing reasons rather than developing a cohesive argument. Try to address the prompt more directly and provide a clear stance on whether the trend is positive or negative.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction, and the conclusion is abrupt. Work on structuring the essay with a clear introduction that introduces the topic and provides an outline, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the thesis.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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