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Writing Samples
Band 6

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attraction. To what extent do yo agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attraction #yo
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The cultural and historical identities
such
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 as ancient pagodas or buildings are invaluable landmarks for its local people. I strongly disagree with those who think that foreign visitors should be more intrigued by cultural and historical attractions than
oneslocal
Correct your spelling
one local
ones local
, and
this
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 essay will explain why.
First
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 of all, a
country
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's finances somehow depend on the revenue from travel and tourism. In Myanmar,
for instance
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, Bagan is one of the places for tourist attractions throughout the
country
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. During the past decade, the rate of tourists visiting that place was significantly soared and
as a result
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, the city is developing in every aspect compared to the rest of the cities around the
country
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.
Hence
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, in return, the locals have to maintain their culture and look after the ancient building from accidental damages caused by the tourists. In
this
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 way, they can earn more foreign income from the hotels and tourism sector in future and develop the rural areas gradually.
Furthermore
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, the rate of jobless could be reduced.
However
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, some people argue that foreign visitors should pay more attention to those cultural and historical monuments than the local people. It might be, I would say, the fact that the locals and the government lack knowledge in maintaining those kinds of things or places. In conclusion, the government of a particular
country
Use synonyms
 should invite foreign professionals to protect those that are at high risk of extinction not only for the
next
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 generations but
also
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 for the sake of human beings.
Submitted by paingphyo.sg on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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