IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on TV and computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #crime #images #tv #computer #video #games
Some
people
 believe that violent images shown on TV, computer, and
video
games
 are to blame for the
increase
 in
crime
 rates in society. Today, I will discuss
further
 why I partially agree that
media
 has an impact on
crime
 rates.
Then
, I will explain why I don't agree to have the
media
 taking the blame for
this
 social problem that we are facing.
Firstly
,
people
 nowadays are surrounded by many different types of
media
 platforms, and
as a result
 of
this
, I do somewhat agree that television has an impact on society's decisions.
Media
 is designed to share knowledge and information for us to know and learn from.
However
, the public tends to abuse the platforms in different ways.
For example
, in
video
games
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
usually the character go against their enemies. The purpose of
this
 it helps society understand to stand up for their rights.
Instead
,
people
 adapt and learn the way of violence in
video
games
.
Secondly
, I believe there are various reasons for the rise in
crime
 rates and the
media
 is not the only one to blame for.
Moreover
, the
increase
 in population and decrease in job opportunities can be a bigger factor in the raise of safety concerns.
For instance
, accounting was a very popular major for international students to study in Australia. Yet, many
people
 who graduated with their master's degree still are not able to find a job in the industry. To sum up, I agree that TV , computer, and
video
games
 play a role in
people
's thinking and decision-making to a certain extent. An
increase
 in population and not having enough job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 is a
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 in to
increase
 in
crime
,
therefore
 why I partially disagree with the statement.
Submitted by disishmeehlisa on

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