Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is the perception of some people that juveniles should be supported in their ability to compete with others while different groups of individuals hold the opinion that those children become more successful persons who are trained to collaborate with others
instead
of competing. The essay will discuss both sides of the view before I present my own perspective. On the one hand, there are a plethora of benefits of competition and some will be presented.
Firstly
, it increases the productivity of humans to compete with other fellow contestants because the spirit to excel from others in every field of life is overwhelming for some and due to ,
this
they outperform everyone.
Secondly
, healthy competition motivates people towards success and it is
also
encouraged in the education sector,
for example
, many students put extra effort to score more grades in exams compared to their competitors and they sometimes achieve their desired outcomes which motivates them even more.
On the contrary
, we are social beings and we are made to work in groups, to co-operate with other humans and it gives strength to individuals to perform a task with unity as well as many multinational companies demand teamwork from their employees and those workers can have fast job promotions.
Moreover
, collaboration assists in solving many problems because of multiple minds
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
together,
this
raises the efficiency of every job. In conclusion, it will not be gainsaid that there are valid arguments for both of the opinions,
however
, I believe that we should keep a balance between competing and cooperating with everyone because both of these abilities are compulsory for a successful person.
Submitted by mairaakram28 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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