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Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?

#people #companies #employees #exercise #time
Imagine a worker
what
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can do a complicated job 24 hours a day without sleep, food or breaks.
Such
 workers do not exist, but /
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
show examples
 could easily do these jobs.
Robots
 first began as mechanical toys
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the 18th century and were
building
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 to amuse wealthy people. Very simple systems for controlling machines
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 invented
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 the same time. Real
robots
 that could be programmed
perform
Fix the infinitive
to perform
show examples
 difficult tasks were not practical until computers became available to control them in the 1960s. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they have become part
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our everyday lives. Most
robots
 work in factories, assembling cars and electronic equipment.
While
 a few
robots
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 dangerous
jobssuch
Correct your spelling
jobs such
 as exploring space, domestic
robots
 can dean our floors and
cutting
Wrong verb form
cut
show examples
the grass, and medical
robots
 can even
operations
Replace the word
operate
show examples
 in hospitals. The latest
robots
 even look a little bit human
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
 copy human movements
such
 as walking up stairs.
Submitted by ERR0RV on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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