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Band 6.5

Some people believe that children should go to school at a very early age, but others think that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both the perspectives and express your opinion?

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According to a few
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
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 of
individuals
Add a comma
,individuals
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 pupils should be started their
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
toddler's
age
Use synonyms
, while others argue that they should go after
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years of birth. Personally, I believe that early
age
Use synonyms
 is the best time
period
Use synonyms
 for entrance into the institutions. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 both viewpoints with my opinion followed by a conclusion will be discussed. On the one hand, the factors why
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the earliest
age
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
 should start
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, In the early
period
Use synonyms
, when
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 learning there can be higher chances of
grab
Change the verb form
grabbing
show examples
 it without any pressure and feeling boredom.
For example
Linking Words
, these days it can be seen that a child is more creative and performing in the reality shows,
such
Linking Words
 as DID, little champs.
Also
Linking Words
, they are earning
name
Fix the agreement mistake
names
show examples
 and fame
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a very little
age
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by struggling from
primary
Add an article
the primary
a primary
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period
Use synonyms
 at which concentration power is high
then
Linking Words
 an adult can enjoy the rest
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 with a healthy lifestyle.
As a result
Linking Words
, a successful person is that who settled very soon in their
life
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 should go to
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
show examples
academy
Fix the agreement mistake
academies
show examples
 when they become older. Childhood is the best golden
period
Use synonyms
 of
anyone
Change noun form
anyone's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, a child should enjoy that
life
Use synonyms
 by having fun with their peer groups.
For instance
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 explore their
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
show examples
 by themselves while doing some activities of their own interest. It helps them to explore their creativity without being
intervene
Wrong verb form
intervened
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
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 others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a child can understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their interest and can
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, going
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 should be started when students become understandable the importance of
Add an article
the study
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some people are in favour of sending
children
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 at an older
age
Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I firmly believe that it should be started at an early
age
Use synonyms
 because of good concentration power.
This
Linking Words
 makes learning easy as well.

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