Being a celebrity –such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #–such #film #star #sports #personality-

The life of famous people,

such

as actors and the sportsman,has both Benefits as well as issues.I believe that the advantages overweight the disadvantages.As they enjoy more perks than the common people and they

also

earn enormous amounts of money. On the one hand,celebrities live like a VIP wherever they go.

This

superior status makes their lives hassle-free.I

also

believe that well-known celebrities and sports personalities get special preferences wherever they go.

For Example

, travelling,living,and dining.

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

show examples

they are

also

given the status of a state guest wherever they visit,

Moreover

they

also

get financial benefits and relaxation from authorities,

For Instance

, footballer Heung-min-son's mandatory 2-year military service was reduced to just three weeks, because he won a gold medal for his country, So most of the famous folk enjoy special protocols in their tenure.

On the other hand

, famous individuals

also

have to face many problems,

Firstly

they can't move around freely as they constantly have to worry about their image

additionally

there is a lack of privacy as they are regularly under the scanner of media so their life is consistently scrutinised.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

they

also

have to worry about the fact that they stay away from

greedy

Correct article usage

a greedy

show examples

society, as they earn a lot of money

Correct word choice

and

show examples

obviously will attract

greedy

Add an article

a greedy

the greedy

show examples

and dangerous crowd.

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

they are always surrounded by a crowd so they have to worry about their safety,

For example

, popular movie stars like Salman khan had to hire bodyguards due to regularly receiving death threats.

Thus

their life is too complicated. To conclude, I believe that the comforts associated with unique individuals are more and these are because of the love and care given to them by the masses.

Submitted by todear7krishna on Thu Dec 29 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Being a celebrity –such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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