IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people think that home cooked food is healthy. But many people still prefer to eating out why is it so? Provide specific reasons and example with your opinion.

#people #home #food
Health plays a quintessential part in our life. With the advancement of accessibility in
this
 modern era, a huge proportion of humans tend to rely on restaurants for their meals.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there are
people
 who claim that homemade
food
 is the best choice for maintaining
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life. In my opinion, I side towards the healthy version because of the fact that healthy
food
 paves the way to our good health in future.
This
 essay delves on the reasons in forthcoming paragraphs. In
this
 cutting-edge era,
Change preposition
with limitation
show examples
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
 of available time and busy work schedules,
people
 prefer to have their meals ordered from external sources rather than
preparing
Wrong verb form
prepared
show examples
 at home.Take
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, even if they want to cook
food
 at home they cannot, due to the
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
 and stress.To
further
 illustrate they tend to depend on sources
such
 as hotels where
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
food
 is quickly accessible.
Therefore
 these days many
tend
Add the particle
totend
show examples
 eat outside rather than
preparing
Wrong verb form
prepare
show examples
 healthy dishes at home.
Furthermore
, with the advent of quick
food
 delivery services, mankind is
further
 addicted to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
 from outside. To exemplify, placing an order on swiggy , zomato, from their comfort zone, helps them in gaining
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
easy access in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to going
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 picking up
food
 in traffic and helps them save time spent in
puchasing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
 groceries and ultimately
forgeting
Correct your spelling
forgetting
 the detriments it could cause on
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
 life as a whole. All in all, though
people
acknowlegde
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
 the benefits of eating
self cooked
Add a hyphen
self-cooked
show examples
food
, due to increased availability and affordability they tend to eat from outside.
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
opined
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 eating homecooked
food
 to protect one's own and
families
Change noun form
family's
show examples
 health from the
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
 that unsupervised
food
 can cause. I
also
 believe that awareness should be spread among
people
 about the hazards of
unhygenic
Correct your spelling
unhygienic
food
.
Submitted by minireddy97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: