IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Improvement in health, education and freight are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poor nations in such areas to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#improvement #health #education #freight #development #nations #governments #responsibility #areas
Health education is a fundamental need for a person the authorities of developed
countries
 to take the
responsibility
 for helping developing
countries
. I personally, agree with
this
 notion and in the upcoming ,paragraph I will discuss and give an appropriate conclusion to
this
 essay.
To begin
 with health, education, and trade or vital for the growth of any nation, the government of foreign
nations
 should give all kinds of facilities to their citizen developing
countries
 open their trade with other
nations
 and
bringing
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 foreign revenue and lead progress for the nation apart from
this
 richer
countries
 have the
responsibility
 moral
responsibility
 for helping the poor
countries
, but they are due to know of, but they are not abounded for helping these
countries
 apart from
this
 developing
countries
 by own take
responsibility
 for developing these qualities and qualities for the people and increase the rate of literacy.
For example
, Nepal and Bhutan both
nations
 GDP it is very low so the government develop tourism and improves other basic needs of their people yet it's an example for all poorer
nations
 to develop themselves in their own steps.
However
, the richest
countries
 are not bounded but they are morally responsible for helping developing
countries
.
Additionally
, they try to help these
countries
 by doing
such
 steps like they open embassies in these
countries
 that bring foreign currency and help people get job opportunities in their
countries
.
Moreover
, they try to give some funds fund to these
nations
, that are economically weak so these
nations
 achieve success.
Furthermore
, international organizations,
such
 as the international monetary fund, help these
nations
,
then
 everyday face pandemics, like corona pandemic. In ,conclusion
although
 developed
nations
, have a moral
responsibility
 towards poor
countries
, poor
countries
 develop other sectors of economic income by themselves without seeking help from rich
countries
.
Submitted by mahlyan.vs2111999 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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