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information about children involved in sports give opinion.

#information #children #sports
A glance at
this
 graph shows information regarding the percentage of young
boys
 and
girls
indulge
Correct pronoun usage
who indulge
show examples
 themselves in recreational activities during their free time in Australia. Overall,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of children spend their time watching tv /
vedios
Correct your spelling
videos
video
, whilst they are not much
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in skateboarding and rollerblading.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
boys
 are majorly involved in these activities in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to
girls
 with an exception in arts and crafts where
girls
 are more involved.
Firstly
, 100% of kids (
boys
 and
girls
) spend their free time
to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
 tv/
vedios
Correct your spelling
videos
.
Furthermore
, the
next
 popular activity amongst
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters is
computergames
Correct your spelling
computer games
 where 80% of
boys
 and 60%of
girls
 spend.
Similar
Add an article
A similar
show examples
 amount of
girls
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 involved in
bikeriding
Correct your spelling
bike riding
bike-riding
aswell
Correct your spelling
as well
, whereas 70%of
boys
 are into it. Moving
further
, 40% of
boys
 are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in skateboarding and art and craft. It is evident from the graph that these both are least popular amongst the
boys
.
Contrastingly
Replace the word
Contrast
show examples
, about more than half
girls
Change preposition
of girls
show examples
 are more
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in arts in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to
boys
.
Submitted by minireddy97 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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