information about children involved in sports give opinion.

#information #children #sports

A glance at

this

graph shows information regarding the percentage of young

boys

and

girls

indulge

Correct pronoun usage

who indulge

show examples

themselves in recreational activities during their free time in Australia. Overall,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of children spend their time watching tv /

vedios

Correct your spelling

videos

video

, whilst they are not much

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

in skateboarding and rollerblading.

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

boys

are majorly involved in these activities in

comparision

Correct your spelling

comparison

girls

with an exception in arts and crafts where

girls

are more involved.

Firstly

, 100% of kids (

boys

and

girls

) spend their free time

to watch

Change the verb form

watching

show examples

tv/

vedios

Correct your spelling

videos

Furthermore

, the

popular activity amongst

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters is

computergames

Correct your spelling

computer games

where 80% of

boys

and 60%of

girls

spend.

Similar

Add an article

A similar

show examples

amount of

girls

are

Change the verb form

show examples

involved in

bikeriding

Correct your spelling

bike riding

bike-riding

aswell

Correct your spelling

as well

, whereas 70%of

boys

are into it. Moving

further

, 40% of

boys

are

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

in skateboarding and art and craft. It is evident from the graph that these both are least popular amongst the

boys

Contrastingly

Replace the word

Contrast

show examples

, about more than half

girls

Change preposition

of girls

show examples

are more

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

in arts in

comparision

Correct your spelling

comparison

boys

Submitted by minireddy97 on Fri Dec 30 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

161 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Write about the following topic: In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Tourism has contributed to the income of many countries. In several countries, international tourism has become a critical source of wealth. While tourism attracts foreign wealth into the country, it also contributes to the overall development of the country. Although it does have some drawbacks, the benefits certainly outweigh the advantages.
5.5
band
Some people believe that students should study at schools are better than studying in groups. However, others argue that students study at schools are better than they study on their owns. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
There has been a pervasive debate on the way students study. Some individuals think studying at school is better than group study. Contrastingly, other thinks studying at schools is better than self-study. However, I find myself standing tall with the former viewpoint on collaborative learning with peers to foster new ideas, improve communication and enhance overall comprehension. In the section underneath, this essay shall propagate both approaches of study pattern.
6.5
band
Many students are now refusing to choose science subjects at their university level. Why do you think this is happening and what is the impact on the community?
In several regions, it seems to be a challenge for over 50-year-old individuals to seek appropriate work positions in spite of their noticeable experience. There is a wide range of reasons for this kind of phenomenon as well as a number of solutions to improve the situation. This essay will analyze and discuss such practices along with my own perspectives.
5.5
band
In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous peoples being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right privacy. To what extend do you agree?
Historically, renowed people have been harrased by the media. Nowadays, some techniques have been applied in artists' lives in order to avoid being hounded by an intrusive paparazzi. For this reason, many people argue that celebrities have not enjoyed their privacy. I personally agree with this statement, and in this essay I explain the reasons.
7
band
In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, many people leave their countries, distancing themselves from friends and relatives.

information about children involved in sports give opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that students should study at schools are better than studying in groups. However, others argue that students study at schools are better than they study on their owns. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Many students are now refusing to choose science subjects at their university level. Why do you think this is happening and what is the impact on the community?

In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous peoples being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right privacy. To what extend do you agree?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?