IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Academic Writing Task 1 Process and Cycle – Produce Electricity

#process #cycle #electricity
The flow chart provided depicts the process of using
water
 to produce electricity. There are three parts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Hydro-electric
Correct your spelling
Hydroelectric
show examples
 power generation, including
collect
Wrong verb form
collecting
show examples
 the
water
, through machine
transfer
Wrong verb form
transferring
show examples
water
 to electronic and
distribute
Wrong verb form
distributing
show examples
 the electronic to the building.
Firstly
, the diagram shows
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 evaporation is caused by
Correct article usage
the sun
show examples
sun
Change noun form
sun's
show examples
 heat and
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 cloud
then
 when
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 could
cannot
Remove a modal verb
not
show examples
 afford the weight it will rain. While
rain fall
Correct your spelling
rainfall
show examples
, it will collect in
reservoir
Add an article
a reservoir
the reservoir
show examples
 and
controlled
Add a missing verb
is controlled
show examples
 by a dam to release the
water
.
Second
, the
water
 will flow to
turbine
Add an article
the turbine
show examples
 through the valve that can control
open
Replace the word
opening
show examples
 and close, which can let the
water
 flow to the pump and the pump can pump the
water
 to the reservoir.
This
 is a cycle to
product
Replace the word
produce
show examples
 electric power.
Finally
, the electric can through high voltage cables sends the power to the transformer station. The electricity is delivered by underground cables to domestic, factory, hospitals and schools.
Submitted by lynnkwong40 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: