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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two pie charts provide the information about the increase and decrease of the world population in a century.

The two pie charts provide the information about the increase and decrease of the world population in a century.
• The two pie charts provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the increase and decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world
population
Use synonyms
 in a century. •
Overall
Linking Words
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, it can be said that the two pie charts suggest, in some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 the
population
Use synonyms
 has increased significantly, but in some countries, we can see that the indicators have
fall
Change the verb form
fallen
show examples
 slightly during the period. • In 1990, in Asia Pacific
population
Use synonyms
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased from three
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fifth to 54 per cent within a century. In
this
Linking Words
 year the
population
Use synonyms
 of Europe accounted for a quarter and after a hundred years. It
fall
Change the verb form
falls
show examples
 dramatically by slightly more than one in ten.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the rate of others and North America remained the same, they make up 3 per cent and 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively. • The
population
Use synonyms
 rate of Africa comprised 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and after
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
ten decades,
this
Linking Words
 indicator rose by 6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In Latin America and
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 constituted 3 per cent and
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 period, it increased by 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 within ten decades.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provide" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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