IELTS Writing Correction Service / Writing Samples / Band 4.5 In many countries today, there are concerns about the unhealthy lifestyles that people lead. What health issues are linked to modern lifestyles? What answers to these problems can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer, and support your essay with ideas and examples from your own experience.

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In the contemporary ,era many regions are affected by diseases like coronavirus, chicken pox etc . that's why the masses lead an unhealthy lifestyle. There are some other issues that are linked to the present lifestyle. I will discuss the reasons and solutions regarding

this

problem in upcoming paragraphs . The major issue is poverty , which supports my idea because all individuals are not rich . They don't have enough money to live

Correct article usage

apply

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healthy

lifestyles

Correct the article-noun agreement

lifestyle

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For example

, some foodstuffs are very expensive like apples, banana as well as some other vegetables those very healthy for humans. So that's the reason some folks lead very unhealthy life even without wanting.

Moreover

, some are affected by the virus . So they lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Even in

this

,situation people have no fault .

Thus

, lawmakers and some masses are responsible for

this

On the other hand

, there are many solutions for ameliorating

Change preposition

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the situation .

Firstly

authorities should make new rules regarding the virus .

Furthermore

, all individuals must wear masks. Apart from

this

, all folks are must be vaccinated to safe from the disease . And sometimes the masses eat prepackaged food like burgers, pizza and some other indigestible material . So if they stop eating these items

then

definitely every folk are easily lead a very healthy life without any obstacles. To sum up , every people like to eat fast food but it is unhealthy for our body . So if we eat

this

item at a limit

then

we can't suffer from diseases ,

Change the punctuation

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Anyway we can't live a fiddle life

Submitted by godarashivam2 on Sat Dec 31 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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