IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

People are surrounded by advertising, which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

#people #effect #lives #effects #outweigh
Advertisements influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human being drastically in the
last
 three decades .It provides a strong impression on our lives, as most of the
time
 we are surrounded by ads. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it has ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
positive impacts when we compare it with the negatives.
This
 essay will discuss the effect of Advertisements on humankind in either way,
whereas
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 there are high advantages as compared to demerits. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
high
Change the article
a high
the high
show examples
 number of advantages for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
commercials, because most of the
time
, they are around us consciously or subconsciously.It can be seen in the form of tv ads in the break of TV series or on the street banner hoardings or even when
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we surf
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any social website. Advertisement increases the awareness of people about the
product
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they can buy from the online or physical markets. Individuals can compare the right
product
 based on their needs and category, which
further
 helps them to balance between choice and budget. As per a recent survey in '
Times
Correct article usage
The Times
show examples
 of India'
Humanbeings
Correct your spelling
Human beings
 are controlling their budgets based on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertising awareness.
Additionally
, businesses create excellent impact by targeting the right customer and generating revenues.We have many startups grown at a fast pace in a short duration of
time
.
For example
, there is
85
Correct article usage
an 85
show examples
% revenue improvement via ads for selling different types of products and Persons are happy to choose the right
product
 based on their requirements.Their advantage
benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
show examples
 the customers on large scale.
However
, there are companies advertising the wrong picture and features of their products for showcasing by which the customer suffers and loses
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trust
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
product
.We have seen,Ghee was mostly used earlier,but nowadays companies sell refined oil by showcasing
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 health benefit to customers, whereas ,in actuality, no benefits are present in refined oil and Ghee has a high number of benefits.People need to use their common sense to understand the
product
 as early as possible. In summary, Advertisements have several benefits, as most of the
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 we are surrounded and influenced by them.I believe there are high merits
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if we compare with negatives.
Submitted by amarjitpalsingh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: