IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some say that because many people are living longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the retirement
age
Use synonyms
 standards should be increased due to numerous citizens
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 longer
life
Use synonyms
. I totally disagree that older
people
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 longer because of some reasons
such
Linking Words
 as the ability to
work
Use synonyms
 and the chance of enjoying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior citizens, as someone
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
getting older, their performance
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 will decrease and
this
Linking Words
 leads
Change preposition
to problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 for companies.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 as a technician in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 mining industry typically has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 productive
age
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 25 - 50 years old. Older
people
Use synonyms
 might be less productive or has high risk while working, which increases the accident in the company.
This
Linking Words
 problem should be considered by
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 to protect their employers. Another point to consider is the elderly should get
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 freedom to decide what they want to do in their golden
age
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 in my country prefer to go back to their hometown after
retired
Wrong verb form
retiring
show examples
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job and enjoy their time with
families
Correct pronoun usage
their families
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 kind of
people
Use synonyms
 spend most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 time in the office,
therefore
Linking Words
 they do not have enough time for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 families.
In addition
Linking Words
, after
60-year
Correct your spelling
60 years
 old most
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to dedicate their
life
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 society. Some
people
Use synonyms
 might be more active in
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
 gathering or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
religion
Replace the word
religious
show examples
 activities because
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 improve their mental health. To sum up, the
age
Use synonyms
 of retirement should not be raised because
people
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 limited capacities on working when they become older.
Moreover
Linking Words
, every
people
Use synonyms
 should get
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 freedom to choose whatever they want after dedicating their
life
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 companies.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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