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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think the education will not work. Disscuss both views and give your opinion.

#scientists #people #health #junk #food #education #work #disscuss
There is no doubt these days that healthy
food
 is precious to our
health
 and eating more unhealthy
food
 will have a negative impact on our general
health
.
This
 question is highlighting the argument regarding solving
this
 problem by educating
people
 or not. In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my own conclusion. In terms of educating
people
, there are some benefits to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 that.
Firstly
, they increase their knowledge regards
food
 choices.
Additionally
, they learn how to differentiate between
food
 types. Either by reading
food
 labels or by counting calories. It is very important for children and adults to be aware of what they eat and how to avoid snacks or acidic drinks to improve their
health
.
In other words
, it is critical to teach everyone the perhaps reasons for eating healthy
food
.
This
 is should be introduced to kids since childhood. To illustrate, more studies had been done to prove the concept of chronic diseases caused mainly by eating unhealthy
food
 and developing bad habits with lacking exercise.
However
, looking to ignore the education idea will lead to lazy
people
 and unhealthy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
This
 is mainly because increasing of sugar or acidic drinks consumption without measuring the amounts.
Moreover
, education level has been affecting all the life aspects with more concerns about eating habits.
Also
, uneducated
people
Add the comma(s)
,people
show examples
 they concerned more regards other issues
such
 as their work and their income which make healthy
food
 at the bottom of their interests. In conclusion, I strongly agree that educating
people
 regarding their daily
food
 consumption has great incomes on their general
health
 and their lifestyle. I believe that schools, parents and community organisations play an important role to raise awareness regards
this
 issue.
Submitted by asbolbol on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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