A large income is much more important than being satisfied at work. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent decades, there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

an argument a high salary for employment is more important than satisfaction in a workplace

over

Rephrase

all over

show examples

the world. I strongly believe that how much workers are satisfied and happy with a workplace should be the first priority over the annual wage of occupations.

Although

Linking Words

a large income could bring stability to individual life in a short period, it is significantly difficult to keep sustainability for occupations without satisfaction. Employees

such

Linking Words

as doctors who acquire a high-volume income are comparatively fragile to have mental illnesses since their professions are more stressful than lower-income occupations which do simple processes.

For example

Linking Words

, it requires them to sustain professional knowledge

as well as

Linking Words

the ability to make patients recover and cure in a proper way and

this

Linking Words

gives them pressure to stay with the

job

Use synonyms

. British

council

Capitalize word

Council

show examples

revealed that professionals who have high

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

are having

Verb problem

have

show examples

dissatisfactory feelings as times go by even though they are happy and comfortable with high-income jobs in the beginning.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

situation results in short-term sustainability because of the unexpected consequences in the end. In my opinion, a satisfactory level of employment has to be prioritised especially when people search for a

job

Use synonyms

. These days, it is a fact that there are a lot of companies in which the importance of socializing with co-workers is a kind of requirement as a part of teamwork because we live in a community. If a worker is good at getting

along with

Linking Words

others, people will be able to get better treatment and it would lead to satisfactory feelings in

Correct your spelling

the workplace

show examples

job

Use synonyms

place.

Thus

Linking Words

, the satisfactory feeling will provide employees with less mental tension, so, they would be able to get a continuous workplace which allows them to have long-term stability. In conclusion, we are living in an era which should prioritise

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction ,not the level of salary as people more consider work and

life

Correct your spelling

work-life

show examples

balance.

As a result

Linking Words

, being satisfied at work has to be first coming rather than making a decision for a profession with a large income.

mix5777Sat Dec 31 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but make sure to clearly state your main points in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better. This will help your essay flow more smoothly.

task achievement

Provide clearer examples and explanations for your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

Your argument for prioritizing job satisfaction is strong and clear, which is a positive aspect of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

344 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The most important role of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples form your own knowledge or experience.
It is evident that science has had a significant role in the improvement of humans' lives. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the ultimate purpose of science should be to serve merely humans or it should be used to serve other creatures. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, in this essay I would contend that animals and the Earth have the same right as humans to be improved by the help of science. The reasons for this are as follows.
8
band
Watching a live performance such as a play, concert or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is an irrefutable fact that entertainment is one of the most common needs for nowadays living standards. There is a general claim that live events are better than shows that are being cast on TV. From my personal perspective, I support this idea on the basis of the following grounds.
6
band
In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, there are a lot of mature individuals who are still living in their parents' house, even until they are employed. I personally see the drawbacks sides exceed the positive parts. Adults need to learn how to tackle simple problems and pursue "value of money" learning, that likely to happen if they live apart.
7.5
band
Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the govrnment's reseponsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
One of the highly controversial issues today relates to whether the state should be responsible for people's well-being and education or not. In this essay, the idea of the first group, which aims to achieve more success for each society, and the second perspective, emphasizing inevitable consequences for the community, will be discussed.
7.5
band
Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is often argued that governments should provide a tuition-free environment for students who want to attend college. I strongly advocate this statement since such a policy may create an opportunity to get an education for poor people. In addition, this attitude helps to acquire many potential scientists.

A large income is much more important than being satisfied at work. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

The most important role of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples form your own knowledge or experience.

Watching a live performance such as a play, concert or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the govrnment's reseponsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?