IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Biotechnology companies all over the world are developing different types of genetically modified (GM) crops. However, not enough is known about these crops on our health and the environment. Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that scientists in every era are giving their best in searching how to heal
illnesses
Check wording
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. Today
biotechnology
Punctuation problem
, biotechnology
show examples
 companies are developing different types of genetically modified (GM)
crops
Use synonyms
. These
crops
Use synonyms
 might have a positive effect on our health and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there might be some negative effects that are not completely clear. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Punctuation problem
essay,
show examples
 I am going to discuss do we
have to
Verb problem
should
show examples
 prohibit these
crops
Use synonyms
 or not. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue about the possibility of these
crops
Use synonyms
 healing complex illnesses.
In other words
Linking Words
, it could be our
gate
Use the right word
gateway
show examples
 to a
new
Punctuation problem
new,
show examples
 bright future in the medical field.
For example
Linking Words
, we see colds and coughing as normal things these days, and these
crops
Use synonyms
 can help us find solutions to the huge problems that are facing us today.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Scientists will continue studying
this
Linking Words
 new invention
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 by the time
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we can fix the negative effects that could happen when using it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that these
crops
Use synonyms
 might have a negative impact on the human body in the long run.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 argue about the possibility of having some problems that have not been discovered yet, and might appear over time.
In addition
Linking Words
, some biotechnology companies do not give attention to health
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 all of their attention goes to money. In conclusion, we can be sure about one thing
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 there will be some moral scientists who will always put all of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 into saving other
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. These genetic
crops
Use synonyms
 might have negative effects, but it is doing a great job, and they will get better over time. In my point of view, I think that the
people
Use synonyms
 who are in charge must put an effort into
this
Linking Words
, and prevent the harmful
crops
Use synonyms
 and companies from
this
Linking Words
 field,
while
Linking Words
 putting rules and obligations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view clearly at the start and in the end. Say if you want a ban, or not, and how far you agree.
task response
Give clear proof or facts. Use simple, real-life examples that fit GM crops.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect ideas. Use and, but, also, so, however to make flow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph to one big idea. Start with the idea and then add a short reason or example.
language use
Check grammar. Use shorter and clearer sentences to aid understanding.
strength
Your view is clear.
strength
The plan is easy to see: intro, two sides, and end.
strength
You tie some ideas to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: