it is said that music is important for bringing people togather from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that these days
music
is a huge language used to illustrate different
cultures
and introduce other feelings. The question is, what is my opinion regarding
music
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a perfect manner to
introuduce
Correct your spelling
introduce
different
cultures
or not ? In
this
essay, I will discuss my view and draw my own conclusion. In terms of
agreement
Add an article
the agreement
show examples
, I believe that
music
can bond
people
together and create a strong relationship between many generations.
This
is because the world become a small village and the Internet opens all the access to explore more about others. To illustrate,
people
from China can learn and listen to Arabic
music
by just searching on the internet.
In other words
,
music
can easily treat, teach, unite
people
and eliminate the distances between ages.
For example
, during the World Cup, all visitors enjoyed their engagement with the hosted country style and everyone from multiple
ethnicity
Replace the word
ethnic
show examples
groups
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
singing the Arabic song over
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the streets.
Additionally
, it is evident that
music
elaborates on any social issues which raise awareness in the community regards a specific matter.
Therefore
, it facilitates access to combining any traditional ideas together.
However
, those who disagree with
music
bonding
people
together,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
believe that some other aspects can do the job.
For example
, food, clothes, work, travel or marriage can bring
people
together and introduce different
cultures
to each other.
This
is because they think the difficulty of understanding different languages might prevent other
cultures
to be engaged and communicated.
Therefore
, food or traditional clothes might be a simple way to bring
people
to explore other countries' habits or traditions. In conclusion, if
people
wish to learn more about new places or
cultures
, I believe that they should start by learning
music
and dancing about that place . As the
music
supports and reflects all about the community.
Submitted by asbolbol on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: