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Band 4

people naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems of problems can this cause? Whats solutions you can suggest?

#people #changes #lives #whats
There is a notion that youngsters spend
extended
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an extended
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period
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periods
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 of
time
 with smart devices nowadays.
This
 could be due to changes in
education
 trends, restrictions in outdoor activities due to social distancing, and increased popularity of online gaming and social media platforms. While accepting
to have
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has
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 multiple negative impacts, I believe
this
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a positive development to support continued
education
, reduce boredom, and increase social connections between
children
.
Firstly
, recent advances in screen
time
 with
smart phones
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smartphones
show examples
 could be coined to the
incresed
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increased
 popularity of online
education
.
Recent
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The recent
show examples
 pandemic situation called for reduced physical
class room
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classroom
show examples
 activities and replaced them with more and more
vertual
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virtual
 sessions. Social distancing encouraged
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 outdoor activities which resulted in
children
 indulging in more online gaming and social media for leisure.
Hence
 screen
time
 on Netflix, YouTube ( online entertainment applications) and messaging applications
such
 as
twitter
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Twitter
show examples
,
instagram
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Instagram
show examples
, and WhatsApp
was
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were
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 increased.
This
 has positive
repercussion
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repercussions
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 on
children
's lives as they get uninterrupted
education
 without having
dangers
Correct article usage
the dangers
show examples
 of physical human interactions.
Furthermore
, leisure
time
 could be spent more meaningfully by participating in online gaming in teams. Not only that but
also
 online reading in applications
such
 as Kindle, iBooks, and NotePad ext. opens
opportunity
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the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to access
humongous
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a humongous
the humongous
show examples
 number of reading
material
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materials
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.
Moreover
, social media platforms
such
 as Facebook and
instagram
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Instagram
show examples
 have brought
children
 around the world closer, reducing the chance of them feeling lonely and bored.
Therefore
,
sensible
Correct article usage
a sensible
show examples
 rise in screen
time
 with smart devices is a blessing in disguise for
children
, if
this
 was utilized appropriately. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 it is
adviceble
Correct your spelling
advisable
adviseable
 to allow young
children
 to use smart devices under adult supervision to maximize the benefits while minimizing their detrimental effects.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • resistance to change
  • stagnation
  • personal growth
  • miss out on
  • opportunities
  • experiences
  • career advancement
  • professional development
  • strain
  • personal relationships
  • conflicts
  • fear of the unknown
  • lack of adaptability
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