THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO ARE AT RISK OF SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS DUE TO BEING OVERWEIGHT IS INCREASING. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR GROWTH IN OVER WEIGHT PEOPLE IN SOCIETY . HOW CAN THIS PROBLEM BE SOLVED .

#people #risk #health #reason #growth #weight #society

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In today's modern age,

obesity

Use synonyms

has become one of the most dangerous threats in society. many

people

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are suffering from heart attacks, overweight, and respiratory symptoms due to being overweight. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

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we will discuss the main reasons

Change preposition

for

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higher

Correct article usage

the higher

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incidents of overweight in society and several steps that can be taken to minimize

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

incident

Replace the word

incidence

show examples

To commence

Fix the infinitive

Commence

show examples

with,

Obesity

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is a result of today's modern age lifestyle. Our sedentary lifestyle and more working-hour jobs paved the way for

people

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to rush toward consuming more fast

foods

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. Fast

foods

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are high in calories and they're mostly made out of unhealthy products. The

second

Linking Words

thing to mention is

people

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's lack of time for cooking, since they're busy working during the week, they have less time

making

Change the verb form

to make

show examples

healthy indoor

foods

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. There are several ways in which

obesity

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can be addressed within society. A simple way is through small organizations

such

Linking Words

NGO's

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NGOs

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to increase

people

Use synonyms

's knowledge on

this

Linking Words

matter by presenting seminars and advertising the hazardous effects of

obesity

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. The

second

Linking Words

that can be done is by raising

tax

Fix the agreement mistake

taxes

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on fast food companies to increase the prices of fast

foods

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. To sum up,

obesity

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has

became

Change the verb form

become

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one of the most dominant issues in recent years, and is mostly related to the way

Change preposition

apply

show examples

lifestyles

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

been created. there are several ways

such

Linking Words

as increasing

people

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's knowledge and raising taxes that

this

Linking Words

issue can be addressed.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Jan 01 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

234 words

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THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO ARE AT RISK OF SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS DUE TO BEING OVERWEIGHT IS INCREASING. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR GROWTH IN OVER WEIGHT PEOPLE IN SOCIETY . HOW CAN THIS PROBLEM BE SOLVED .

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?

NOWADAYS many people complain that they have difficulites getting enough sleep. what problems can lack of sleep cause? what can be done about lack of sleep?

Aircraft have been increasingly used for transport fruit and vegetable to some country where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people oppose it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.