IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Government around the world are spending billions in support of space programs.This will be better spent on research into improvements in human health. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #world #billions #support #space #programs #research #improvements #health
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is suggested that in recent times, nations all over the world are spending quite a huge number of funds in supporting
space
 programs. Alternatively, it is argued that they can utilise the same in studies, which can improve the well-being of mankind. Acknowledging, the benefits of
space
 exploration, I agree with the notion that it would be better to spend money on research in the field of health care.
Firstly
Change the word
First
show examples
,
to begin
 with, health-related issues are growing increasingly in the modern era. There is a multitude of diseases, which are not effectively treated due to a lack of evidence-based medicine.
In other words
, continuous
further
 research has to be conducted on
such
 conditions and other ailments to bring out the best solution, that can tackle the diseases.
For example
, different variants of cancer are discovered quite often by scientists in the medical field.
However
, there is only a certain standard regimen to treat all kinds of cancer.
Hence
 for these reasons, the government should spend checks to improve these fields, strengthen the well-being care system and alleviate human suffering.
On the other hand
, Organizing
space related
Add a hyphen
space-related
show examples
 programs in order to find out what is happening on the other side of the world is both scientifically and intellectually appealing. Take
for instance
, in the past, there were many
space
 scientists who travelled to
space
 to find out if there was any existing life on other planets.
This
 might generate curiosity and help us find out various other aspects
such
 as elements, and compounds, that help us gain scientifical advancement.
However
, it is okay to spend a reasonable sum, but not large amounts, as there are many other aspects that nations can focus on. In conclusion, not undermining, the facts and importance of
space
 exploration, I agree that monetary resources can be spent on the medical research field as that acts in the best interests of people.
Submitted by minireddy97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: