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Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task。Write about the following topic：Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed，rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case？What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed？Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #task。write #topic：nowadays #people #self-employed，rather #work #company #organisation #be #case？what #self-employed？give
With
technological
Add an article
the technological
show examples
 advancement of today's age, able to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
start
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 business with
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
buget
Correct your spelling
budget
.
Therefore
, rising the number of
people
 becomes
enterneurship
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurship
 in recent times.In
this
 essay, I will elaborate on the beneficial aspects of
this
 trend in the upcoming paragraph. There are prolific points to agree with the meritorious sides.
First
 of all, working in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 organization or company discourages them to spend quality time with their family and friends due to the heavy workload and low package salary.
Therefore
, many
people
 choose to be self-employed and they don't need to worry about the consequence of the results. Another positive outlook in
this
 regard is that acquiring more knowledge and
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
 the business by interacting with different
people
, easy
getting
Change the verb form
to get
show examples
 settled in the early stage of life. In short, the fall inducement of its bright side is self-evident.
By contrast
, it is predicted that
thrones
Correct article usage
the thrones
show examples
 of
this
 area cannot be neglected. The most worrying aspect is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 lack of resource in the
industrailization
Correct your spelling
industrialization
industrialisation
 which directly affect the country's economy.To probe more deeply, without a manager of the team is difficult to run the project.Another observation in
this
 regard is self-employed is not
pieces
Fix the agreement mistake
piece
show examples
 of the cake, without proper knowledge of the field,
might
Correct pronoun usage
one might
show examples
 be losing
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of money.Needless to say, all these points
stands
Correct subject-verb agreement
stand
show examples
 in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good stead. To conclude,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industrialization should provide well-paid salaries to
Add an article
an
the
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 based on their position and their level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work.
In addition
, start
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 scheme to
encourages
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
people
 to involve in other
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 to deal with stress.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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