IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task。Write about the following topic：Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed，rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case？What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed？Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #task。write #topic：nowadays #people #self-employed，rather #work #company #organisation #be #case？what #self-employed？give
In recent years, an increasing number of individuals choose to
workwork
Correct your spelling
work work
work-work
 for themselves rather than to work for companies due to a plethora of reasons.
However
, the major reason is work-life balance. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate on the beneficial and adverse aspects of
this
 trend before coming to a logical conclusion. There are myriad
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons to agree with the
meritorous
Correct your spelling
meritorious
 sides.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and Foremost reason is working in
corporate
Add an article
a corporate
show examples
 company,
need
Wrong verb form
needing
show examples
 to work more than eight hours
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 day.
Moreover
, there are
strick
Correct your spelling
strict
show examples
 rules and regulations and if
employeer
Correct your spelling
employees
employer
 feel employee isn't worthy, they can be expelled from the company.
Moreover
, an individual who works for
oneself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can set their own rules and regulations.
Furthermore
, they are
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 chance to earn more money and easily settle down in the early stage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life.Needless to say, all these points stand in good stead.
By contrast
, it is predicted that the thrones of the area cannot be neglected. The most worrying aspect is that
an
Correct word choice
if an
show examples
 individual didn't meet the deadline of the targets, they may undergo financial losses.
Enterneurship
Correct your spelling
Entrepreneurship
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to deal with many problems day by day which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to mental health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
Besides
, it takes several years for the
self-employeed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
 professional to establish themselves in their respective fields.
Hence
, it's apparent
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people are against
this
 trend. In
recaptiulation
Correct your spelling
recapitulation
, I think
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 for oneself is definitely beneficial.
However
, they should aware of
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
show examples
 and pros
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-employment before venturing into one.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: