IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Should the government fund the education and healthcare system? What is your opinion?

#government #fund #education #healthcare #system
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Recent
Change preposition
In recent
show examples
 years, the authorities in some
countries
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 financed the schooling and medical care of their
citizens
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it motivates and
Use synonyms
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 the
citizens
Use synonyms
 that need them, especially the poor.
This
Linking Words
 essay will be discussing the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 decision as well as my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
countries
Use synonyms
 like USA and Uk, the government should provide educational
support
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 helps the young ones to have access to school and partake in various activities in them, that
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 in their developmental stage. The
support
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 is mostly from adolescents to adulthood-where they are now fully grown and can provide for themselves.
Although
Linking Words
, some developing
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Nigeria, Togo and South Africa, provide free high school only and
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
 a scheme for scholarships
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they are all done for the betterment of the community and the people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the healthcare system has a very important role to play because the services are needed by every individual on earth, from infancy to late adulthood.
Therefore
Linking Words
, more funds should be ventured
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
this
Linking Words
aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
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 because when the
citizens
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 have to pay less or receive free treatment, they
terms
Change the verb form
term
show examples
 to visit the hospital on a regular basis. Some
countries
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 health insurance, whereby individuals can pay less dan 10-20% for whatever treatment
provided
Add a missing verb
is provided
show examples
. Whereas, other developing
countries
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 decide to provide free medical care for under
5years
Correct your spelling
5 years
 and free maternity treatment ,
this
Linking Words
 helps to reduce the rate of infant and maternal morbidity and mortality.
Recent
Add an article
A recent
show examples
 study has
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
 that
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 method has reduced the rates from 80% to 30%, which indicates that the scheme has been effective. In conclusion,I think the government should
support
Use synonyms
 the
citizens
Use synonyms
, both in
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 and medical system by assigning and supervising the authorities in charge of the different
scheme
Fix the agreement mistake
schemes
show examples
 for it to be effective.
Submitted by enaughetheresa on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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