IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

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Plenty of
people
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 choose to watch foreign
films
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instead
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 of local productions. The reasons may relate to promotions from
movie
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 companies and the viewers' preferences. To support local
movie
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industries
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, governments should provide more financial aid to help them create more types of
movies
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. Rather than local
films
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, audiences tend to watch foreign
films
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 because of the advertisements from marketing and
movie
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 companies,
as well as
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 viewers' personal taste.
Firstly
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, foreign
films
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 normally rely on the marketing team to promote their production in other places. More precisely, the marketing team plan a strategy to attract
people
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,
such
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 as a huge billboard or online advertisement. Through social media, those foreign
movies
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 can be popular
,
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apply
show examples
 and bring more audiences to the theatre.
Secondly
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, viewers' tastes can differ, and they may all prefer to watch foreign
films
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. As a recent report has shown, the majority of local
people
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 enjoy watching foreign action
movies
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instead
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 of the local ones. The preference for foreign
films
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 may lead local
movie
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 indusries weakend;
therefore
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, the governments should support them to compete with foreign film
industries
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. By funding and providing new technology, the local
movie
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 makers can create better scripts, animations, and even invite famous actors to feature.
Moreover
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, these local film
industries
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 can produce more types of
movies
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 than before. Thereby, more audiences bring more income, and more investment assists the
industries
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 in developing superior products.
To conclude
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,
people
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 decide to watch foreign
films
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 rather than local productions owing to the advertisements and personal taste. Since the decision caused the local
movie
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 industies become worse than before, the government should support them by finance aids and technology tools to prevent their collapse.

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task response
Answer both questions in a more full way. Your view is clear, but add one more strong reason for each side.
task response
Use one clear example to support your ideas. The report about action films is helpful, but it needs more detail.
task response
Explain your main points more. For example, say how government money can help local films reach more people.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are good, but a few parts are not smooth. Try to connect ideas in a more natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word form problems. Shorter sentences may help your flow.
task response
You answered both parts of the task and gave your opinion clearly.
task response
Your main idea about ads and taste is easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphs well, with an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow a logical order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
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