IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and Academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
These days sharing
information
 has become a way of life. While some people advocate more
information
 should be shared, another believe some
information
 in scientific research, business and
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
 world are more important than others. I completely agree with the letter trend. On the one hand, it seems sharing more
information
 could be a good route to foster social knowledge and awareness.
In addition
, it can help all members of a nation to move toward a civilised society.
Moreover
, one
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ultimated
Correct your spelling
ultimate
 data can achieve and perceive
newest
Correct article usage
the newest
show examples
information
 so that upgrade their mindset about everything happening in fast-changing work. Google,
for instance
, as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the
information
 resource did a crucial role in the knowledge
surging
Replace the word
surge
show examples
 over
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 two decades.
On the other hand
,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
 more
information
 is a good idea, the truth is that some formation gotten could be more important or precious than others, so there is thought that it is better to be shared that freely. In
this
 modern age
Add a comma
,
show examples
there are an array of things that can easily diminish our concentration
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and have become
a
Change the article
an
show examples
abstacle
Correct your spelling
obstacle
 to finding our appropriate data precisely.
Moreover
, searching
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
 issue and gaining
a good and sufficient
Remove the article
good and sufficient information
a piece of good and sufficient information
show examples
information
 could be impossible. Take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Google as an example; sometimes a simple search on Google needs to spend a lot of time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it
bound
Add a missing verb
is bound
show examples
 with
information
. I believe some data is too important to be shared freely and
growling
Correct article usage
the growling
show examples
 of number
information
 not only
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not help but
also
 can be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
destructive. In conclusion,
although
 there are two views about sharing more
information
 or
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that is
 too important, I wholeheartedly believe some of them
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 and sharing them is better.
Submitted by behnam.n00001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: