IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
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Businesses
Use synonyms
 are established with
profit
Add an article
a profit
the profit
show examples
 motive and their activities are directed towards earning money. Meanwhile, these
businesses
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have
corporate
Add an article
a corporate
show examples
 social responsibility towards the community where they exist. I personally believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
corporate houses should be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 their roles and responsibilities towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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. The organization exist in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 environment
that is
Linking Words
 equally shared by the people and
society
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. The existence of
businesses
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 has various impacts on the environment causing degradation,
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
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 and so on.
This
Linking Words
 is why
businesses
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 focus on their responsibilities towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the manufacturing industries and factories are found making
huge
Add an article
a huge
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investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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 in filtration equipment for the harmful gases emitted during the process of production
such
Linking Words
 that its impact on the surrounding is reduced.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the corporate houses are built
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land which
were
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was
show examples
 previously used for either cultivation for earning
of
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apply
show examples
the family or
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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open areas for fresh air.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 has brought development around but
also
Linking Words
 resulted in unemployment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those who survived on the income earned from the
produce
Replace the word
production
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 of
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 land.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
businesses
Use synonyms
 could
also
Linking Words
 provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment opportunities to the affected people to help with their living. Admittedly, companies are built up
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with
vision
Correct article usage
a vision
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 that ultimately
result
Change the verb form
results
show examples
 in earning profit and they have played
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 role
for
Change preposition
in
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 infrastructural developments and advancement.
However
Linking Words
, they should be concerned about the effects they have left
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
society
Use synonyms
 and surroundings they exist in and spend
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 part of their excess income towards their corporate social duties.
Submitted by Rashmina on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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