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Band 5.5

Motor vehicle crashes are one of the leading causes of teen deaths. To prevent such road accidents, the government should ban people under 24 to drive motorcycles.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#motor #vehicle #crashes #deaths #road #accidents #government #ban #people #drive #motorcycles
There are more accidents on roads and the highest proportion of teen deaths has been seen to prevent
this
, some
people
 say the
government
 should impose a new law that under 24
people
 are not allowed to drive motorcycles.
This
 disquisition will discuss
this
 view and I totally disagree with
this
 statement that illustrates that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 who are under 24 should be banned from driving. To commence with, it is undeniable that teens drive faster compare to other
people
, it is a kind of enjoyment for them but we cannot detain them from driving
instead
 the
government
 should add more
rules
 and regulations for teenagers,
rules
 like, there have to be more fees for exceeding the speed limits, necessary precautions are required,
for example
, mobile phones should not be allowed while driving, the airbags have to be necessary .
In addition
, the examination for getting a licence should be stricter as drivers are more skilful,
then
 there is less chance of accidents on highways.
Additionally
, In recent times, teenagers are more expert in driving and banning them can be a huge loss
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the time of emergency, the
government
 should just
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
 to drive according to the situation, because they Overspeed for fun and to stop them, the
government
 should put posters on highways, which can aware teens,
for example
, in some countries, we can see more advertisements and quote poster are available like, the fun of speed can be converted into death, do not mix alcohol while driving, avoid using mobile phones. In conclusion, the
government
 can include some strict
rules
 but it cannot directly prevent them from driving as they can get
helpful
Replace the word
help
show examples
 in necessary conditions ,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 the higher authorities can add some strict
rules
.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • road safety
  • traffic fatalities
  • risk perception
  • graduated licensing
  • enforceable legislation
  • statistical correlation
  • demographic analysis
  • adolescent development
  • age discrimination
  • public transportation
  • driving prohibition
  • legal restrictions
  • vehicular accidents
  • rash driving
  • defensive driving
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