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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Motor vehicle crashes are one of the leading causes of teen deaths. To prevent such road accidents, the government should ban people under 24 to drive motorcycles.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are more accidents on roads and the highest proportion of teen deaths has been seen to prevent
this
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, some
people
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 say the
government
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 should impose a new law that under 24
people
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 are not allowed to drive motorcycles.
This
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 disquisition will discuss
this
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 view and I totally disagree with
this
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 statement that illustrates that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
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 who are under 24 should be banned from driving. To commence with, it is undeniable that teens drive faster compare to other
people
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, it is a kind of enjoyment for them but we cannot detain them from driving
instead
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 the
government
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 should add more
rules
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 and regulations for teenagers,
rules
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 like, there have to be more fees for exceeding the speed limits, necessary precautions are required,
for example
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, mobile phones should not be allowed while driving, the airbags have to be necessary .
In addition
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, the examination for getting a licence should be stricter as drivers are more skilful,
then
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 there is less chance of accidents on highways.
Additionally
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, In recent times, teenagers are more expert in driving and banning them can be a huge loss
at
Change preposition
in
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 the time of emergency, the
government
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 should just
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
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 to drive according to the situation, because they Overspeed for fun and to stop them, the
government
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 should put posters on highways, which can aware teens,
for example
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, in some countries, we can see more advertisements and quote poster are available like, the fun of speed can be converted into death, do not mix alcohol while driving, avoid using mobile phones. In conclusion, the
government
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 can include some strict
rules
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 but it cannot directly prevent them from driving as they can get
helpful
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help
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 in necessary conditions ,
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instead
Add a comma
,instead
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 the higher authorities can add some strict
rules
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • road safety
  • traffic fatalities
  • risk perception
  • graduated licensing
  • enforceable legislation
  • statistical correlation
  • demographic analysis
  • adolescent development
  • age discrimination
  • public transportation
  • driving prohibition
  • legal restrictions
  • vehicular accidents
  • rash driving
  • defensive driving
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