IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Topic: Driving a car is a valuable skill and should therefore be taught in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a notion stating that students should learn how to drive at school as it is an essential skill that can be notably helpful for their future. Even though the benefits of driving are undeniable, I disagree with
this
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 idea, and the essay will highlight several reasons for my view.
To begin
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 with, youngsters may find it challenging to handle driving skills, which require several components
such
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 as observation, situation identification, flexibility and problem-solving abilities. Specifically,
due to
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 a lack of experience and confidence, some students struggle with driving and cannot eliminate their fears, which may lead to potential hazards.
For example
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, New Zealand has reported that young drivers aged 15-24 have caused thousands of serious and minor injury crashes yearly, making
this
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 group stand at the highest in road casualties.
Moreover
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, it is unrealistic to offer driving as a compulsory course in every school, as teachers and trainers may realize that investing in cars and auto repair is extremely expensive, possibly affecting budgets for other fundamental categories,
for instance
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, classroom supplies, library development and school renovations.
Although
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 knowing how to operate a car is beneficial to some extent, young generations should focus on more valuable soft skills that directly contribute to their career advancements,
such
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 as information technology, foreign languages, teamwork and critical thinking.
On the other hand
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, some believe that mastering driving techniques can give a student an edge in emergencies, so it should be a part of the curriculum.
However
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, it is readily apparent that these situations would be rare, making a driving course less necessary than others, like first aid and self-defence classes. In conclusion, it would be better for schools to concentrate on academic topics rather than driving skills, which parents and many instructors can train for their students.

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task response
The essay provides a clear and well-organized response to the prompt, presenting a coherent argument throughout the essay. The introduction and conclusion adequately frame the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical progression of ideas and a clear connection between paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices and transition words effectively guides the reader through the argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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