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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries ,children are becoming overweight and unhealthy.some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do u agree or disagree

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility
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In recent days, obesity has become one of the most common diseases in
children
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.
As
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A
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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solution
to
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apply
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this
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 problem, people think it is the authority's responsibility to solve it, while others believe it is the individual problem. Personally, I believe if the person does not want to be in a healthy lifestyle the authority will not force him\her to do it. In
this
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 essay, I discuss my point of view and give some examples. The choice of a healthy life can be forced on the community by the authorities. To illustrate, they can put drastic rules about cigarettes and junk
food
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,
for example
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, in Singapore smoking is not allowed in the country and you actually go to jail for it. Government can provide awareness campaigns in schools for obesity to parents so they will take action about it,
for instance
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, they can provide healthy meals to their
children
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instead
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 of eating from the cafeteria or fast
food
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.
On the other hand
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, having a healthy lifestyle is totally up to you. To clarify, if you want to eat junk
food
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 or drugs the authorities can not do anything about it because you will do it anyway.
In addition
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, working out or eating a healthy meal even if it is provided by politics people do not choose to have them,because fast
food
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 provides cheap and tasty
food
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 and you do not have to wait to cook it. In conclusion, a healthy lifestyle has nothing to do with politics ,especially with
children
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, parents have control over what their
children
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 eat.
Thus
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 the authorities should raise awareness of the consequences of obesity.
Submitted by joudalaskar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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