Some people buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having large number of toys ?

#people #children #toys

It is true that some individuals purchase their sons and daughters

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hundreds

Change to singular

hundred

show examples

toys

Change preposition

of toys

show examples

to play with , and though

this

essay is mostly beneficial, there are

also

some negative aspects that will

also

be considered. One of the

first

benefits of

such

a measure is that if

people

buy a lot of cars , dolls and other

toys

children

's thinking will improve.

As a result

children

's interest in the world increases.

This

would mean that

children

create their fantastic universe .

For example

, if you gift models of heroes to your

children

, little ones will be

Add an article

a hero

the hero

show examples

hero

Fix the agreement mistake

heroes

show examples

in their world. Another advantage would be that

children

will be

Add an article

a collector

show examples

collector

Fix the agreement mistake

collectors

show examples

who

colect

Correct your spelling

collect

a lot of interesting

toys

. It is often the case that if

children

have two of the same toy , they can exchange

with

Correct pronoun usage

it with

show examples

their friends for another toy. Which

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

the business ability of

children

Then

, if

children

Correct article usage

the children

show examples

are elder, they will be businessmen.

Nevertheless

, there are disadvantages to

such

a solution.

First

and foremost, when

people

buy a lot of

toys

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

, they will get used to it .

That is

, even when

children

grow up, they will play with

toys

As a

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

they do not want to break up from their

toys

In addition

, buying too many

toys

hurt

people

's family finances .

As a result

, families become poorer . Beyond that

children

used

Add a missing verb

are used

show examples

to receiving gifts from their parents every day. Parents may not always have enough money to

shopping

Replace the word

shop

show examples

. In conclusion, it has enough benefits and drawbacks which some

people

buy lots of

toys

Change preposition

for

show examples

their

children

Submitted by asqar4997 on Tue Jan 03 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having large number of toys ?

Your opinion

Government should allow students to pay fee after graducation or it should be free? which one is best?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against common childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.