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Band 5.5

The media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary background. Why do you think people are interested in the lives of famous people? Do you think this is a good thing

#media #interest #people #background #lives
Nowadays,
People
likes
Replace the word
like
show examples
 to become famous in various categories by doing
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 in which
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 plays a vital role who search the background and the journey of the
person
 and
shows
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 that to the world through cameras. It becomes the most interesting topic among individuals which has various reasons and I think it has both good and bad points that I will discuss in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs.
To begin
 with, every
person
 wants to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fame not only to earn money but to spread their name in the heart of
people
. So that they can be remembered by the
people
 even after their death. When someone gets famous
who
Correct word choice
and
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
ordinary
Add an article
an ordinary
the ordinary
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 background , Individuals always
likes
Correct subject-verb agreement
like
show examples
 their Journey and they want to know about that how they get popular and what they have faced and overcome the
obstecles
Correct your spelling
obstacles
. It has two reasons ,
firstly
 , they want to get inspired and
secondly
 they want to learn in which they will avoid the mistakes done by the famous
person
. These two reasons make them interested to hear the stories of
ordinary
Add an article
an ordinary
show examples
 popular
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Moreover
,
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
 has its pros and cons but according to
me
Add a comma
,me
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 it is more good than a bad thing.
Firstly
, the lives of famous
people
motivates
Change the verb form
motivate
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals and
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 them to build their carrier as we see a lot of
people
 who get inspired
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the journey of various famous actors ,
tries
Correct subject-verb agreement
try
show examples
 to overcome the pain and crossed the obstacles to get reach
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their success point.
Secondly
,
people
facinate
Correct your spelling
fascinate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities and they always
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 some story those are more interesting as we
also
Add a missing verb
have also
show examples
 seen
people
likes
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
 reality shows more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 scripted shows because they want to see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
people
 for which they
also
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to know about their simple background.
However
, it
also
 ruins the privacy of celebrity as paparazzi always
follows
Change the verb form
follow
show examples
 them which is a bad thing. Overall, the lives of popular
people
 always
inspires
Change the verb form
inspire
show examples
 the lives of ordinary
person
 but when the
person
fets
Correct your spelling
gets
show examples
 famous and come from normal
people
, it makes them more interesting because
people
 feel them. So,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 good to follow them and make them role but
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will be good if
indivials
Correct your spelling
individuals
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 copy them which makes the
people
 fake.
Submitted by manpreetksidhu1944 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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