IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many famous players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#players #sports #products #outweigh
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There have been arguments about famous athletes and players who promote specific
products
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 that make you gain and build muscles whatsoever.
Nevertheless
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, in
this
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 essay, I will illustrate my point of view and support it with examples as well.
First
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 of all, from my perspective, I think it is risky to advertise a product without being educated about it, what if someone actually took your advice,
then
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 went through a period of side effects and faced a harmful and dangerous disease, as a famous athlete and advertise you will be taking the full responsibility for the consequences. I believe that you can not promote
products
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 without being aware of the consequence and side effects, especially when it comes to
products
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 that have a huge impact on human health
such
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 as pills or energy drinks.
On the other hand
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, as a follower or a fan, you should not be influenced that easily, these players did not build muscles and became professionals without hard training, there is no
such
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 thing that will make you fit and strong by lying in bed. The whole purpose of these advertisements is to raise the companies' productivity and increase their income as well,
therefore
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, paying the famous athletes with cash in order to promote their
products
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. Sadly, not everyone has principles, some of them would do anything for the money, not considering the consequences and
this
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 is why you should not take anyone's advice without checking with the doctor
first
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. In conclusion, as a famous player and role model for some people, you should be more responsible about your content.
Submitted by Layanosama on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Endorsement
  • Influence
  • Brand ambassador
  • Consumer perception
  • Marketability
  • Publicity
  • Sponsorship
  • Testimonial
  • High-profile
  • Commercialization
  • Athlete's prowess
  • Brand loyalty
  • Impulse purchasing
  • Reputation
  • Scandal
What to do next:
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