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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that children should go to school as early as possible, while others believe that children shouldn’t start school until they are at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are many different points of view about the starting
school
Use synonyms
age
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. Most people agreed that the most suitable
age
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 for being a student is under 7
years
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 old or less.
However
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, we can find a group of people that thinks the opposite. I believe that each
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
the sides
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sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
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have
Change the verb form
has
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an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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advantages and disadvantages. With regards to some parents, earlier education can be profitable in many ways.
Firstly
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,
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school
Add an article
the school
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 gives a huge opportunity for developing skills, that are needed in society and
further
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 life. Infants have
natural
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a natural
the natural
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 ability to learn things quicker than
older
Correct pronoun usage
onesolder
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. For
this
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 reason, every mother and father taking care of
child
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the child
a child
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 should enable their
love
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loved
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 one to become a master in
area
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the area
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 of emotions and living among others. There is no doubt it will be beneficial for them.
Secondly
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, experts say that
such
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 children perform much better academically and are motivated for
years
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 to come. Which results in faster
school
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 completion.
On the other hand
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, it is clear
for
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to
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 other parents that the decision to fast-track education costs their children their entire childhood. It is a time that allows us to carelessly learn the world step by step and spend time with
parents
Correct pronoun usage
our parents
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.
This
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 is crucial because the
school
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 imposes certain, namely 45-minute lessons with little movement. Children at
this
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age
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 have a problem with motivation and need an individual approach. There is a risk that
this
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 will reflect negatively on the young person concerned and discourage them from continuing. Whereas learning at one's own pace will not only build good memories but
also
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 a solid foundation. In my opinion, each parent should make an individual decision regarding their child's
school
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age
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. And based on observations of his/her behaviour and readiness for the
next
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 stage, choose what is best. Personally, I would lean more towards starting
school
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 earlier, because the child doesn't remember the young
years
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 and can put them to really good use. Which will result in an easier start in the future. In conclusion,
although
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 starting
school
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 early offers many benefits in the future, it takes away precious childhood
years
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, which are crucial for everyone's development. Every parent should make the right decision about their offspring's education
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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