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Band 4.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
People
 in several places around the globe believe that buying a
house
 is much more beneficial than renting one. After
this
 essay demonstrate that
this
phenomenon
 could be caused by two principal reasons, it will vividly show that
preferred
Correct article usage
the preferred
show examples
 choice of these
people
 may lead to detrimental situations.
This
 ubiquitous behaviour of
people
 prioritizing buying
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 rather than renting one can be explained from two perspectives: psychological and cultural. From
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 psychological perspective,
people
 prefer to buy houses because
this
 action can give them a sense of
comfortability
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
 and peace. To
ilustrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, some
people
 will always believe that rented houses
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not their own
house
,
therefore
, it would make them less comfortable to do daily activities. From
cultural
Add an article
a cultural
the cultural
show examples
 perspective, owning a residence represents an achievement and a successful life in some cultures and places,
for example
, in rural areas.
This
 root
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 makes renting
house
Add an article
a house
the house
show examples
 for living
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
no option, especially for the members of
this
 society. Aside from the aforementioned causes,
this
phenomenon
 is
saw
Wrong verb form
seen
show examples
 as a negative situation due to several reasons.
Firstly
, as the price of land and the
house
rocketing
Wrong verb form
rocket
show examples
thesedays
Correct your spelling
these days
,
this
 behaviour could lead to desperate irrational measures where
people
 have to take a huge
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
. In the
worst case
Add a hyphen
worst-case
show examples
 scenario, the giant debt could make the life of the
people
 miserable.
Secondly
,
this
phenomenon
reroute
Change the verb form
reroutes
show examples
 the main objective of the
house
. The fundamental function of residence is to be a shelter for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. It is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 matter whether the
house
 is owned by the person who lives there or by other
people
 as long as it serves its function as a shelter. To sum up, the preferability of
people
 to own a
house
 rather than to
ren
Correct your spelling
rent
show examples
 it is caused by two principal reasons, which are the comforting sense of
belongings
Fix the agreement mistake
belonging
show examples
 and the culture of the society.
This
phenomenon
 is believed to be
disadvanatgeous
Correct your spelling
disadvantageous
 because it could trap
people
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the vicious cycle of debt and it may reroute the fundamental purpose of a home.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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