it is important for people take risks,both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

nowadays,
people
are more
concentrates
Wrong verb form
concentrated
show examples
on their uniqueness especially youngsters who give importance to taking risks in their life.I agree with that point because it will be used to develop their skill and hike their value in front of others.let us review
this
essay.
Firstly
, most
people
focused on their growth by doing something different why because it will help to enhance their potential value in society.in a hectic lifestyle,
people
have a
lot
of commitments and different types
goals
Change preposition
of goals
show examples
so they are always trying to pursue their dreams.Professional workers especially in the cinema field work out a
lot
of risky scenes during the film making it unimaginable probably stunt scene performers did not care about their injuries behind the shoot because they want to show off their talent and reality in the visuals .
For instance
, Kannan had ten stitches and recently got the best stunt master awarded by
Tamilnadu
Correct article usage
the Tamilnadu
show examples
film society.
Secondly
, the current generation mostly focused on health and beauty notably, youngsters
admired
Add a missing verb
are admired
show examples
by celebrities who had more fashionable and beauty conscious.Current technology offered a
lot
of cosmetic surgeries who had problems with their skin.In past decades we don't have
this
much technology and products but nowadays we get them easily.
for example
, ruthra
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has dark patchy skin on their cheek laser treatment helped to recover from that issue.
however
, she faced a
lot
of allergies
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
her skin. to sum up,
people
are willing to take risks to achieve their dream and it is fashionable but it will affect their mental health.
Submitted by keyarthi on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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