IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

#immigration #impact #society #consequences
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Immigration
Use synonyms
 has
an
Add a missing verb
had an
show examples
 impact
several
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on several
show examples
countries
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 for years, especially
immigrating
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immigrants
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 from developing
countries
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 to developed ones. Various reasons are behind the action which will
further
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 explain in
this
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 essay.
In addition
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, the consequence of it will
also
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 be addressed. One of the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
immigration
Use synonyms
 is to strive for
better
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a better
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opportunity
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opportunities
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 in life. Not just only the career opportunity, but
also
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 chances to live in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better environment which cannot be found in
third
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-world
countries
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. Unlike
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing
countries
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 that provide limited access
for
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to
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 quality public transportation,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed
countries
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 pay high attention to
ensure
Wrong verb form
ensuring
show examples
 that their public commute can be well-accessed by everyone in the cities, both route availabilities and affordable fee. Another reason is to earn more money. The developed
countries
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 offer higher wage
rate
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rates
show examples
 than the developing ones with similar job descriptions. For
examples
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example
show examples
, in
Thailand
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,Thailand
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 the daily minimum wage rate is
at
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apply
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USD10 daily
comparing
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compared
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 to some Middle East
countries
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 that offer
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
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 rate
at
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of
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 USD20.
However
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,
immigration
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 could lead to some negative results. It is
obviously
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obvious
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 that
immigration
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 will cause
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high population density in the designated
countries
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 or cities. Local
government
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governments
show examples
 need to ensure that they can maintain the standard of living for existing local people with all public facilities.
In
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As
show examples
consequences
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consequence
show examples
,
local
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the local
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government
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governments
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 need to supply more facilities to meet
with
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apply
show examples
the increasing demand from immigrating
expat
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ex-pat
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.
Furthermore
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, crime or illegal issues are
also
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 another concern that should be aware
.
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of.
show examples
 We have seen a lot in
news
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the news
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 that teenagers are scammed and immigrated to developed
countries
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 with the
dreaming
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dream
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 of having a better future but end up
with
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apply
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working all day and night in the factory
instead
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. To conclude,
immigration
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 has become one of the social impacts globally. It comes with the benefit
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 immigrating people while giving negative results to existing locals and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 to handle the higher density population.
Submitted by minichariie on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migration
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Expatriate
  • Refugee status
  • Work permit/visa
  • Demographic shift
  • Naturalization
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social cohesion
  • Immigration policies
  • Border control
  • Undocumented immigrants
What to do next:
Look at other essays: