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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people who have been in prison are the best to talk to school students about the danger of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #school #students #danger #crime
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It is true to say that, talking with some people who have been in jail for a long time
are
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is
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best
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the best
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 way to school students about the threat of committing the offence. I definitely agree with
this
Linking Words
 situation that, it is the best idea to turn back children from a
crime
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. One of the
cause
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causes
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 for using ex-prisoner to talk about the drawbacks of
crimes
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 for teenagers is that they are familiar with the consequences of committing
crimes
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 better than anyone else. They not only experienced
prison
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 sentences themselves but
also
Linking Words
 saw life-sentence or execution for other prisoners.
Furthermore
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, by talking about severe punishments, kids may understand clearly that every action has its drawbacks and they should be very careful about their effect
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. From a psychological point of
view
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,view
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 the
ex-prisoner's
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ex-prisoners
 talking about
results
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the results
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 of
crimes
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 deters youngsters from committing
crimes
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.
However
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, some people and I
also
Linking Words
 argue that longer
prison
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 is not a practical solution because prisoner will live with other criminals which demotivate them and their character will not improve. One solution is that government can provide separate schooling means practical skills to those prisoners who want to improve their lives.Even though longer
prison
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 generates fear
inthe
Correct your spelling
in the
 criminals' mind which discourage them from committing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crime
Use synonyms
 but proper education, job opportunities and knowledge of practical skills
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the better solution
instead
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 of longer
prison
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. To conclude, I reiterate my opinion that some people think that the best way to reduce
crime
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 is to give longer
prison
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 sentences. Others,
however
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, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing
crime
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. I absolutely agree with
this
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 situation.
Submitted by asqar4997 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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