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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
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It is believed by some people that it is productive for adolescents to embark on learning a
nonnative
Correct your spelling
non-native
show examples
language
 at primary
school
 as compared to secondary
school
.
This
 has its own rewards
as well as
 detriments. Both pros and cons are elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand, there are a plethora of advantages to learning a foreign
language
 in primary
school
. The most pivotal one is that children can easily adopt anything in their early years. To support
this
, it can be explained that in
this
 stage of life, they can easily store lots of vocabulary
as well as
 grammatical rules of a new
language
due to
 strong remembrance power.
Furthermore
, the second reason is that it will be beneficial for their future. By
this
, I mean that if they start to learn a second
language
 at lower
school
, they will be good bilingual with time.
As a result
, they will have more job opportunities as compared to others.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks too.
To begin
 with, it has a pessimistic impact on their native
language
.
In other words
, they cannot give enough time to their own
language
. As a result, they may not speak their native
language
 fluently. To recapitulate,
according to
 the aforementioned points, there are few demerits,
such
 as a negative effect on primary
language
,
whereas
 there are numerous merits,
such
 as owing to excellent memorising power, they can easily obtain other languages, and it will be fruitful for their future or job.
However
, my arguments prove that the advantages of
this
 situation are more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
Submitted by Darshita@8612 on

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task achievement
Expand on the examples provided in each paragraph to make the argument stronger. Adding specific scenarios can enrich the essay's depth.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is generally coherent, consider using a greater variety of transitional phrases to enhance the flow between different ideas.
introduction conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively encapsulate the main points discussed.
logical structure
Well-organized structure with clear sections discussing both advantages and disadvantages.
supported main points
The main points are clear and well-supported, showing a thoughtful approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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